what happens next?

being 23 is exhilarating. not in the i-am-going-to-go-bungee-jumping sense of exhilarating. but just imagine watching the lives of others and yours unfold. that's pretty darn exciting. and unnerving.

at 12, i was preoccupied with convincing my mother to send me to school 15 minutes away as opposed to her preferred elitist place (HAD TO SIT FOR A PLACEMENT TEST) 200 miles away. the irony of landing in singapore a year later. my mother was clearly not satisfied with my idleness when i was 13. (mom, they call it honeymoon year for a reason.)

at 17 (16 for others), i was concerned with tying solid knots between the countless sheets of paper on which i wrote my O-level answers. making sure that they were inseparable. your entire academic fate lied in those pieces of paper neatly bound by loose strings. so, you better make them tight!

then, there was college. writing those personal essays/statements, in a way that displayed why you are WORTHY of entering a particular institution. sitting for more admission exams, making sure that your co-curricular record was decent. being graded for your leadership qualities, or penalized for being "regular". you had to shine, as stipulated by the system.

and now, i am close to the end of my college career - it's just such a bewildering moment. what do you do with your life? how will you make it count? for yourself? for God? for $$? isn't it a wonder how things that appeared once in your life keep resurfacing? applications are endless. interviews will go on forever. writing about your glorious achievements is a desirable skill.

i don't think the process will ever stop. at each step, you'd probably feel inclined to re-evaluate life. make those changes and perhaps, move on. and hopefully, at some point you have a somewhat clear picture of what life means to you. or what counts most.

life - it's quite a wonder don't you think?